I’d Rather Be Lost

You might think that in the spirit of camaraderie I wouldn’t disparage another voice actor for landing a great gig, yet here I am just going for it.  The soothing voice of Kim Cattrall, pictured at left,1 is now available as a download for your Tom-Tom GPS unit.  Yikes.

Cattrall, known widely for her role as the ever-spontaneous and uninhibited Samantha Jones on the HBO hit series Sex and the City, adds some spice to the ride, allowing drivers a fun and unforgettable journey.

“Putting my voice on GPS systems is such a unique way for me to reach out and connect with my fans,” Cattrall said. “I am thrilled to be able to entertain my fans by giving them turn-by-turn directions to make their trips more fun and exciting.”

On the road, Cattrall throws some candid, sassy and sexy advice to help drivers find their way. For example, in addition to saying, “At the end of the road turn left” or “Take the second right,” Cattrall also lets drivers know what she is really thinking, saying “This is the city, darling. Anything goes” or “Don’t touch my Manolos,” leaving drivers wondering, “What will she say next?”

Yes, what will she say next? My guess is “BRAINS! MORE DELICIOUS BRAAAAINS!” accompanied by the otherworldly moanings of the undead.

When asked for comment, every female voice talent on the planet said, “Wait, really?”

1. Artist rendition.

Colin Campbell Produces My New Demo

So, my old Narration Demo was getting a bit stale and in need of an upgrade so I went back to my boy Colin who produces some of the best demos ever and he hit it out of the park once again. Granted, he had my dulcet tones to work with, but it is still a great job. This guy has some ear1 and I highly recommend him. Check him out at Colin Campbell Voice.

My new Narration Demo:

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My Promo and Commercial Demos, also produced by Colin, presented here strictly as examples of his genius:

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See? I told you he was good. Have I ever steered you wrong before?2

1. Two of them actually.
2. Trust me, this wont hurt a bit.

The New York Meet-Up

When I’m not busy fighting fires or volunteering at the orphanage, I occasionally make public appearances.  Apparently word got out that I would be in Manhattan this past Saturday and I was swarmed by voice talent looking for my autograph.  We really are a good looking bunch.1

UPDATE FOR KAT: The guest list included myself, Diane Havens with her hubby and honorary voice talent John, Liz de Nesnera, Melissa Ex, Trish Basanyi, Haneen Arafat, Allison Scussel, Lee Gordon, Dave McCrea, French talent Gilles Motais, Veronica Shea, Michael Berkowitz and Lisa Farrel.

Suspiciously absent and so getting grief here: Peter Ganim.
Not pictured: Kara Edwards.2

1. Well, most of us. You know who you are.
2. She wasn’t there, yet I’m still surprised she isn’t pictured.

Bling Bling

These have to be the dumbest things I have seen all day, and I woke up with a couple of sorority girls.1 Neutrik usually makes some great stuff for the crafty folks talented enough to make their own cables (I shell out for the Mogamis because my soldering skills suck) but… just look at them!

This is from the product description:

“Fancy, noble, valuable, attractive – the crystalCON connectors made with Swarovski crystals are eye catchers.”

Yes, fancy and noble indeed.  They look like Paris Hilton threw up on them.

No snarky footnote I could possibly come up with would be biting enough to fully encompass how ridiculous these are.2 Anyone who buys one is automatically crossed off my Christmas card list.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get these ladies back to campus.

1. Thank you Jägermeister
2. See? Nothing here.

Nikki Saco Is The Woman

Speaking of outstanding artists I have worked with, I would be remiss if I did not hip you cats to the lovely and talented Nikki Saco.  Not only is she a stellar voice actress, a web designer, a scholar and a sous-chef,1 she is also one of the driving forces behind SaVoa and we would never have gotten to the point we are now without her herculean efforts.2

Anyway, she busted her butt3 on my fabulous logo:

She also did a bang up job on the SaVoa logo:

Some other examples of her fine work:


The point is, if you are in the biz,4 you need branding and you could do a heck of a lot worse than going to Miss Nikki.  Click on her name above or bug her at nikki@addmultimedia.com to get your logo on.  I’ve seen that MS Paint looking thing you use now and, frankly, it’s embarrassing.

1. Alright, I made that last one up.
2. </gush>
3. It’s fine now.
4. This biz we call “show.”

Ben Owens Is The Man

My buddy Ben from Phine Art Designs just sent me all the final artwork for my demo CD and I must say they look outstanding.  I had to squish them a bit to fit here but they are as crisp as a new dollar bill full size.  (Update: hopefully now viewable for our friends with Macs.)

Front Cover:

Inside Cover:

CD Face:

Back Tray with spines:

I’m from New York, get it?

Do you want a demo CD that looks as insanely cool as mine?1 Well then click on the link above or contact Ben himself at Owens@PhineArtDesigns.com to get hooked up.  His prices are beyond reasonable, his work is amazing and he even dealt with my constant revisions that would have brought a lesser man to tears.2 He is also quite an accomplished painter and sculptor so be sure to get him now before he turns into some famous artsy type and insists on doing all his work in his own bodily fluids or something.3

1. Of course you do.
2. Or murderous rage. I’m a pain like that.
3. Thats how I do my postcards.

J.S. Gilbert and Tina Fey Dream Ticket

This years batch of presidential hopefuls and running mates are kind of tough for voice actors and comedians to pull off as compared to the Bushes, Gore, Kerry, Clinton and others from years past who had more distinctive voices and deliveries.  While I have yet to hear an Obama impression that really wowed me, I think the GOP ticket is taken care of nicely.  Check out my buddy1 J.S. Gilbert doing McCain.  He nails it:

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Speaking of nailing2, Tina Fey was spot on as she-devil Sarah Palin last night on Saturday Night Live:

I hope they stay busy doing these for the next couple of months as there won’t be as much of a call for them once my man Obama cleans up come election time.3

1. Don’t hold it against me.
2. What?
3. Check it out, it’s a political blog now!

Bruce Jacobson: The Best Voice Talent You’ve Never Heard Of

When I’m not busy being an international playboy and making Victoria’s Secret models1 weak in the knees, I occasionally listen to some of the demos that come across my desk.  I am certainly glad I decided to hit play when Bruce sent me his stuff.  He has an absolutely unique this guy must have been drinking whiskey and smoking cigars for the past 40 years kind of sound.2 How does he do it?  He has been drinking whiskey and smoking cigars for the past 40 years.  It seems to be paying off for him.  Check out his demo below:

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Just for good measure, check out this recent work he did for Davidoff:

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You can read more about him and hear some more of his phenomenal voice at our main site here. He’s single too, so if any of you ladies3 are interested, just let me know and I’ll hook you up.

Impressed?  Of course you are.  Well then pick up your jaw and let him feel the love in the comments.

1. Their secret? Bulimia.
2. But in a good way.
3. Or gentlemen, he’s not picky.

The British Are Coming

In perhaps the most obvious casting decision since I was chosen as the new voice of Dora the Explorer1,  the extraordinary British voice actor Philip Banks has just voiced a series of television and radio spots for the Utah State Fair.  In Utah.  As a result of his most recent stateside success, Philip has converted to Mormonism and will be moving into a bungalow with Donny Osmond in Salt Lake City2.  Check out one of his coronary inducing clips by hitting play on the alluring black box below:

When not making millions for Voice Talent Productions, Mr. Banks enjoys cricket and learning how to properly pronounce “aluminum.”3

1.  Update:  This was recast at the last minute.
2.  I’m kidding, of course.  Philip remains a devout Satanist.
3.  I’m assuming.

September Day Leach Rocks Like Slayer

Our very own lovely and talented September Day Leach just bagged a series of national spots for retail giant IKEA.  On top of her previous work for Subaru, The MTV Awards and approximately a million other huge clients, she is pretty much now a rock star.

Fig 1:

September Day Leach

Fig 2:

Slayer

While most industry insiders attribute her astounding success to her links with me3, I believe the following sneak peek4 will knock you on your respective keisters:


Autographed headshots are available exclusively through this site.

Fig 1: September Day Leach
Fig 2: September recording her IKEA spots
3. This has never actually happened.
4. Sneak hear?